No matter how far you got in your education, or what you studied, chances are you never had a primer on how to manage aging parents in failing health. The exceptions are those who specifically pursued healthcare, geriatrics or a related field. For everyone else, it may feel like you are totally lost when it comes to dealing with aging parents’ health, behavior, cognitive decline and finances. It can be scary!
Older man raisiong his hand in a classroom
At AgingParents.com, where we consult with families of elders who are facing various difficulties, we hear over and over the refrain: “I don’t know how to even start with this. I’m so overwhelmed.” It reminds me every time that we would be better off as a society if we did educate students about what they could face as their parents age and how to do what is right for all of them. We don’t so that, so people have to search and struggle for even basic information.
Turning 65
Meanwhile, we have an aging population, with 10,000 people a day turning 65. They are not all doing just fine. Some are worried about money in retirement. Some have looming health issues. Some have chronic illnesses that are progressing. Some have adult children who are beginning to become their caregivers. Even millennials are having to step into the caregiver role, unprepared. It is indeed overwhelming, as we so often hear family members tell us.
What To Do
What can families do to ease their stress over aging parents going through changes? There are resources, but many people do not know where to look. Putting search words into Google will lead to millions of results, often promoting products and services. It may be hard to find reliable sources of information about how to manage the difficulties. Beware of sites promoting cures or magic formulas to fix age-related problems. That will not help. There is no cure for aging.
Official Resources
The federal government has created a helpful organization with taxpayer funding. Take advantage of it. The National Institute on Aging offers reliable tips on such subjects as long term care, Alzheimer’s caregiving, distance caregiving, and advance care planning.
Non-government organizations can also be very helpful. There are many, including these:
AARP offers free downloadable guides for families with aging loved ones. It addresses anticipating needs, sharing costs among family members, becoming a caregiver for the first time, and other subjects.
Family Caregiver Alliance offers free information and support, along with a caregiver dashboard to help you organize tasks and needs of your aging loved one. Some find their online support groups very helpful in easing the feeling of loneliness that caregiving can bring.
Alzheimer’s Association. This is one of my personal favorites to help those experiencing memory loss or living with someone who is. It describes the signs of Alzheimer’s disease that many people ignore. It tells you what is normal and what is not. It offers an online interactive tool, ALZNavigator™ to guide families with next steps. There are support groups and some local offices with programs and classes for families as well. This organization also does fundraising for worldwide research into treatments for the disease.
From a nurse-lawyer’s point of view, check out my book, The Family Guide to Aging Parents, available at AgingParents.com or on Amazon
AMZN
The Takeaway:
If you are seeing the signs that you need to become a caregiver or that you, yourself need one, you can start by learning what you never learned in school: how to manage this journey. Go to vetted, reliable sources for your information. Do your basic research. Learning what steps to take can ease the stress and give you the confidence you need.
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