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Tighten your belts and put the Krug away. We’re heading back to the 1970s.
Thankfully, not in a poached salmon with cucumber, jellied meat terrine or synthetic desserts laced with “exotic” alcohol kind of way.
But economic headwinds are strong and we’re all going to have less money. Lavish entertaining is off the menu. Even if you can afford it, like aspic, it’s tasteless. What corners can you cut but still entertain with style?
Tabloid newspapers are full of recipes that can be cooked for 57p a portion. Energy bills may be about to triple, but I’d not recommend these suggestions if you want to keep your friends.
There’s no need to resort to beans on toast, Marmite spaghetti, lasagne or even a baked potato fashioned into a “bird’s nest” by scooping out the cooked potato, mixing with butter, leaving a hole, popping in an egg, liberally sprinkling grated cheese for a final 10-minute bake.
You’re not in your jimjams and your dinner guests aren’t eight years old. They’ll require a level of sophistication. Nor would I recommend buying a Delia Smith cookbook from the local charity shop. No one wants to eat dull, bland, boring food. Cottage pie is my nemesis, overcooked fish my nightmare and microwaved potatoes worthy of legal action.
Instead of slaving in the kitchen you could import. Yep, order a takeaway. It need not cost much at all. If it’s Chinese or a curry, however, you’re hosting a logistical nightmare. Everyone has their favourites, and you’ll wish you never offered. But there is a better — and very much cheaper — option. I’ve surprised guests with an unexpected takeaway before. Honestly, I’d forgotten they had been invited. With less than 20 minutes notice to gather food, it’s too late to barbecue. And much as M&S do very fine prepared meals, it’s not the 1990s. Time for a radical plan.
With plenty of fizz in the fridge, all I had to do was dive into the supermarket, buy a range of crisps, tortilla chips and dips for starters. With enough time to turn the guacamole from a revolting supermarket sludge into a zesty chunky affair with some lime juice, chopped spring onions, flat leaf parsley, toasted pine nuts, seasoning and some chopped peppadew peppers.
Once my guests were chatting and snacking, I popped down the road to The Golden Arches. Burgers, fries, nuggets, “Chicken Selects” and a range of sauces all bagged up and ready to go. For under forty quid and in less than 15 minutes, I was back and serving up. But do go to the restaurant. McDonald’s doesn’t cope well with a delivery app. Sweaty fries and burgers are an abomination.
Put the fries into big bowls and chop burgers into quarters. Surprisingly, my guests were delighted. In one thank you note “who knew Maccy D’s, a roof terrace and fine English sparkling wine went so well together?” while another commented that “in all honesty, that was the most fun we’ve had at a dinner party for years!” Praise indeed. Try it, before you knock it.
Of course, you could up the burger quality with a Five Guys or equivalent, but a cheeseburger there will set you back £8.95 compared to the McDonald’s, recently price-hiked, £1.19. As for pud, who’s going to complain if you have a selection of Magnum ice creams on offer?
You may wish to ditch the idea of a sit-down dinner altogether. Do a stand-and-serve party instead. Elaborate snacking food always goes down well. Seared tuna with a yoghurt, mayo and zesty dressing or sizzling sausages finished in the oven with honey and grainy mustard.
There’s no need for the schmancy mustard either. Aldi sells a pot of grainy for 35p. That’ll do. Add a few bagels liberally smothered in smoked salmon, a squish of lemon juice and a turn of ground pepper. You want some healthy options? Crudités are always a winner — and carrots still cost little.
Pud is easy. A fruit skewer is a great option for a mingling party. Instead of Magnum ice creams with splintering shards to embed into your carpet, you might want to try the bite size version. At £3.50 a box they are a bit ‘spenny. Instead, try Wall’s Mini Bites. Chocolate-coated, available in vanilla or strawberry, they never fail to impress.
But avoid buying them at Tesco. They’ll charge you £2 for a box of 10, or £1.50 with your Clubcard. FarmFoods sells them for £1 a box and sometimes on offer with a Bogof. Reduce this still further with vouchers. Kerching.
But can you still serve fizz at a party in this day and age? Krug at £185 a bottle is excessive. If you want to go pink, it’s £260 a throw. Veuve Clicquot is always a winner, but their rosé now costs £49.99 a bottle, so you might want to consider alternatives. A wine cellar can soon be depleted of its finery if you’re not cautious.
In the past, I’ve recommended English fizz. Busi-Jacobsohn Rosé Brut at £39 a bottle will surprise, delight, and impress your guests. You may want to tone down the expense a bit after that (who notices real quality after a few bottles?) Recently, I bought shares in Chapel Down with perks offering you a significant discount on any fizz or still wines purchased. The Rosé Brut, their best offering in my view, is less than £25 a pop. Or try Lidl’s Crémant de Loire Rosé. It’s only £9.99 a bottle. Once you’re a few bottles in, and if it’s really cold, no one will be the wiser.
The ultimate budget saver is to serve your own produce. I’ve got more tomatoes and green veg than I know what to do with right now. And much as novelty standing parties are fun, A full-on sit-down is preferable. A tomato salad with mozzarella and fresh basil leaves is a wonderful summer starter. Aldi’s own-brand cheese at 65p compared to others at £1.65 is more than satisfactory. My local butcher in Frinton-on-Sea has sourced amazing 1.5kg hunks of cow sirloin. Just £15 each, two of these behemoths, seasoned, seared and rested, thinly sliced, will serve 10 people with a range of pasta and other summer salads. Delicious.
Then there’s cheese. Is supermarket fromage acceptable? Surprisingly, yes. Purchase a day before, remove its clinical plastic packaging and arrange on a plate, leaving it at room temperature. It will come alive and for less than a tenner you can feast like kings. Your guests are unlikely to tell the difference.
And for pud? I’ve just made some blackberry jam that will sit beautifully in a home-made Victoria Sandwich. Everyone likes cake. Especially if it’s home-made.
Gone are the days when dinner parties require expensive thrills and spills. You don’t need dry ice to make desserts float, a flambé to show off your culinary skills, or sparklers, even if everyone loves an indoor firework.
Post lockdowns it’s just nice to see people in person. And if there’s a cold glass of fizz and a few inventive twists, you can do it on a budget too. At my next dinner party, we’ll sample camel’s milk (£3.25 at Asda, in case you wondered).
I’ll certainly be interested to receive your comments and suggestions, not to mention the odd invite. After all, if I really want to cut my costs, I’ll turn off the lights and go to someone else’s house for a few hours.
James Max is a TV and radio presenter and a property expert. The views expressed are personal. Twitter: @thejamesmax
Are you facing difficulties managing your finances as the cost of living rises? Our consumer editor Claer Barrett and finance educator Tiffany ‘The Budgetnista’ Aliche discussed tips on the best ways to save and budget as prices across the globe increase in our latest IG Live. Watch it here.
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