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Take steps now to be a good ancestor.
“I don’t want to be a burden on my children when I’m old.” This statement is one I consistently hear expressed by older people from all walks of life. While it’s natural and noble to be worried about how you might disrupt your children’s lives as you age, “worrying” isn’t a strategy!
Instead, use any worries you might feel as motivation to take steps now to plan for the time you’ll likely be frail. I say “likely” because unfortunately, it’s not really a matter of if you’ll become frail; most retirees will experience some degree of physical or mental decline during their last few years.
To help you prepare for that time, let’s review four steps you can take now that will help ease any burden you might place on your children down the road.
1. Take Care Of Your Health
Let’s start with your health, which is the most common cause of needing help in your later years. You can reduce the odds of needing expensive health care and long-term care by making better lifestyle choices. For instance, you can:
- Eat a balanced diet that includes lots of vegetables and fruit.
- Maintain a healthy weight.
- Exercise (more on this topic later).
- Get sufficient sleep.
- Don’t abuse alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes.
Most likely, you’ve heard these recommendations before. If you haven’t already taken these steps, then perhaps it’s time to get motivated and take action so you make progress on your health.
One topic—exercise—deserves some elaboration. There’s a growing realization about the importance of preventing falls as you age; these can lead to debilitating hip fractures that start a downhill slide. As a result, my wife and I have recently added balance exercises and strength training to our exercise portfolio.
2. Live A Financially Sustainable Life
Another reason retirees can become a burden is if they run out of money. To prevent that situation, you’ll want to develop reliable sources of lifetime retirement income that can cover your living expenses for the rest of your life. It’s an important task that deserves your time and attention.
A key to preventing you from running out of money is to make sure you satisfy the common-sense formula for retirement security:
- I > E, or Income greater than Expenses
If it seems likely that your expenses will exceed your retirement income someday, then it’s better to take a hard look at your living expenses now and look for ways to cut back. Start with your largest expenses, which typically are housing and transportation. It’s much better to be proactive and address any deficits sooner rather than later, when your back might be against a wall and you need to make abrupt changes in your life.
3. Plan Ahead For Frailty
You’ll want to consider setting plans in place for the time when you’re less able to live independently and manage your finances. This is a complex task that deserves strategies for both situations. Here are three key things to think about:
- Consider the home and community where you’ll live when you are more frail and may have less spendable money due to increased costs for health care. Look at your current house and think about what might happen if you can no longer use the stairs or afford to pay for house repairs, homeowners’ insurance, and property taxes. Don’t wait until it’s too late for you to make a move and have to rely on your children to make decisions for you and manage the move themselves.
- You’ll want to develop financial strategies for paying for long-term care if you need it. Possibilities include setting aside savings for that purpose and not tapping them early in your retirement, holding assets in reserve such as home equity, or buying long-term care insurance.
- Develop a plan for managing your day-to-day finances and investments when you’re more susceptible to making mistakes or being the victim of fraud. You’ll want to inventory your finances and select a financial advocate to help you manage your money. The Thinking Ahead Roadmap is a free resource, funded by AARP, that can help you with this task.
Your kids will appreciate it if you give them explicit instructions to deal with these challenges. If you don’t, they’ll likely worry whether they’re making the right decisions on your behalf. It can even create arguments among siblings who might disagree among themselves with the decisions they’re forced to make.
4. Purge And Downsize
One way to make your kids resent you is to leave behind a mountain of junk for them to deal with. That includes unused furniture, clothes you haven’t worn in a few decades, and keepsakes that have been stored in drawers, closets, and attics for years. A big red flag: Have you rented offsite storage for items that don’t fit in your house?
Take time now to purge your house of all unneeded stuff. Give it away, donate it, or just throw it away.
Let’s be realistic: There’s a good chance you’ll need your children’s help in some way during your final years. Most likely, they’ll need to help implement the careful plans you’ve made or even act as a case manager for your care. You’ll mitigate the burden on them with resources and plans that can make any transition as smooth as possible.
It’s an important way to express your love for them.
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