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Reach across the divide to those in need


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We approach Christmas this year in difficult times. The Israel-Hamas war threatens to drag in other powers in the region and exacerbates divisions around the world. The Russia-Ukraine conflict lumbers on with no sign of coming to an end any time soon. And a cost of living crisis lurks in many households, affecting millions closer to home.

The last of these bears a closer look. A report on poverty in the UK from The Joseph Rowntree Foundation charity tells us that one in five people lives in poverty and that number is increasing due to rising costs of fuel, inflation and limited increases in benefits. About 60 per cent of low-income households say they cannot afford an unexpected expense, more than half are in arrears in rent or paying back loans, and 70 per cent are going without essentials such as food, taking showers or buying adequate clothing.

Charities are alert to the tendency to give more than usual at Christmas, the season of goodwill. Yet money only goes so far. A big part of the problem is that many people with wealth rarely know people who don’t have it.

Jon Yates’s eye-opening book Fractured suggests that half of British or US people with degrees have no friends without one. People who voted against Brexit were astonished by the result of the referendum because they didn’t know anybody who was intending to vote the other way. 

If you are reading this as someone in a professional job, you might ask yourself: how many people do you know by name for whom life day-to-day is a desperate financial struggle? The problem is not just that the rich don’t give to the poor; it is that they don’t know the poor.

In recent times, our natural tendency to club together with people who are like us has grown stronger. The increasing availability of university education created a class of people who move away from where they grew up and become more socially mobile. They tend to be more socially progressive than the other half of the UK population, who still live within five miles of where they grew up as teenagers. It has led to an increasingly divided society in which we live more distant lives from each other.

All this has an effect on our democratic life. The more affluent, who do not know people in lower income brackets, are less likely to support spending on social services that benefit poorer people. In the more socially homogeneous Denmark, government spending in 2022 ran at around 50 per cent of GDP, whereas in a more polarised US it is at 38 per cent. When we become more divided we lose a sense of shared identity and community.

On the other hand, there is a good deal of evidence that generosity and going out of your way to encounter those who are different is good for you. Numerous psychological studies suggest that people who engage in what are called pro-social behaviours — volunteering or spending money to benefit others — experience greater meaning in their lives. People who use their resources to benefit others tend to report a higher sense of personal worth and self-esteem.

Most people in higher income brackets are money rich but time poor. In other words, a gift of money is less of a sacrifice than a gift of time. Yet the value of a gift is usually related to the element of sacrifice that goes with it. A Christmas present lovingly made with hours of effort means a great deal more than a pair of Santa and Reindeer socks bought in a random visit to Primark.

So what does a step in this direction look like? The problem is that many of the places where we used to encounter those different from us have either gone into decline or disappeared. Social clubs, political parties, local pubs, even youth activities such as the Scouts or Guides have all fallen in attendance or membership. There aren’t many places where we meet those who are different these days, unless we go out of our way to do so. But there are some. Let me suggest one: church.

If you go to church on Christmas Day, or any other day for that matter, the chances are you will find yourself sitting next to someone from a completely different social setting. Of course there are some eclectic churches that gather the like-minded. But an average local parish church is one of the few places where you might find yourself sitting next to an elderly pensioner worried about how to pay their winter fuel bills, a solicitor, a student, or a shop assistant at the local Tesco.

Of course, churches are not the only place where this happens. Mosques, synagogues, temples, local food banks, sports teams and schools all offer similar opportunities. A decision to become involved as a volunteer or member at such places might lead to our learning the inner stories of those who are different from us.

At the heart of the Christmas story is an odd detail that is often missed. At the birth of Christ, two groups are present — shepherds and kings. They are people from opposite ends of the social scale, both brought to Bethlehem by one event — the birth of a child who was to transform the world. As we look towards 2024, the gaps that divide us seem to be widening. But being part of a slow but growing movement of people determined to reach across them may be among the more significant gifts we can give this year.

Graham Tomlin is a former Bishop of Kensington, and director of the Centre for Cultural Witness at Lambeth Palace



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